


do you see me?

by stupidbadgers



Series: lone wolf no more (i hold you in my heart) [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Dissociation, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, kakashi has trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:41:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26927521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stupidbadgers/pseuds/stupidbadgers
Summary: kakashi wakes from a nightmare, but isn't quite awake. iruka is there for him.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Series: lone wolf no more (i hold you in my heart) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1778071
Comments: 5
Kudos: 102





	do you see me?

**Author's Note:**

> uh.. angst demon back at it with some angst... *finger guns* 
> 
> pls enjoy~~

The sound of a thousand birds screaming echoed in his mind as Kakashi sat up, ramrod straight, his eyes flying open. The  Sharingan spun rapidly, superimposing the images of his nightmare into his mind’s eye. Sweat soaked his body and the sheets, cooling rapidly against his heated skin in the cold night air. 

Kakashi looked at his hands, soaked in the blood of the ones he had failed to protect. He lurched off the bed, straight for the bathroom, turning the tap on as hot as it would go. No matter how much he scrubbed and scratched, the red stain wouldn’t leave his hands. 

A sob built in his chest, pushing up his throat, choking him before bursting out. His vision blurred, tears streaking down his pale cheeks. He couldn’t stop them, couldn’t stop the sobs, couldn’t stop the blood from sticking to his hands. 

He scrubbed fervently, desperate to scrub away his sins. But he knew he could never do that. He would never achieve that. 

He could hear a voice babbling and it took him a moment to realize it was him, pleading with the blood to wash away, leave his skin.

Kakashi did not hear the other approach him, only startled when hands touched his forearm, gently pulling him from the blistering water. His eyes were wide, that of a deer caught in the forest by a hunter, and his whole body trembled. 

“It won’t wash off, why won’t it wash off, please, please wash it off,” he cried. 

Dark hands held a towel, gently patting at Kakashi’s own hands, bright red from the heat of the water. 

“It’s alright,” a calm, comforting voice murmured. “Look, I’ve wiped it all away, there’s nothing left.” 

Kakashi looked at his hands, scrubbed raw but he no longer saw blood. 

The dark hand tilted his face back up, the other gliding up his arm and settling gently against his neck. 

“Now look at me. Do you see me?” 

Kakashi saw him, saw Iruka, his love, his mate, eyes wide in concern. A soft smile graced his lips when Kakashi blinked and then nodded slightly. 

“Good, that’s good. Why don’t you close this eye, hm?” he said, placing the hand that had tilted Kakashi’s head up over the  Sharingan . “There, that’s better. It’s telling you things that aren’t true again. But that’s okay, I’m here for you.” 

Kakashi took a breath, realizing the sobs had quieted and breathing had become easier. He nuzzled his face into Iruka’s palm, pulling strength from the warm touch. It sent tingles across his skin, their bond reacting to the proximity of each other.

Iruka gently pulled him out of the bathroom, back into their bedroom. The blankets on their futon were a mess, bundled in a ball. The sheets were soaked with Kakashi’s nightmare sweat. 

He made a noise in the back of throat at the sight, hating that his  vulnerabilities were laid out before him. 

“It’s alright, Kashi,” Iruka said, bringing Kakashi to the chair in the corner of the room. He made him sit before replacing the sheets and blankets with clean ones from a drawer. Kakashi wanted to help, but couldn’t find the will to stand, to move without Iruka’s soft touch guiding him. 

Iruka returned to him, pulling him up and over to the futon, easing Kakashi down before curling around him. Kakashi buried his face against Iruka’s bare chest, breathing in the ceaseless smell of freshly fallen leaves in autumn, rain in the air, and a touch of salt; it had become stronger as they got older, and the smell of chalk and paper complimented it now. A hand combed through his hair, fingernails lightly scraping his scalp. Kakashi pushed into the hand the smallest amount. The scent and touch grounded him, helped him come back to himself and put the pieces back in place. He felt Iruka’s lips on the top of his head, placing a small kiss there before resuming his ministrations. 

Kakashi fell back into a dreamless sleep, safe and comfortable in the arms of his mate.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! 
> 
> [tumblr](https://stupidbadgers.tumblr.com)


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